Wondering

6 Sep

 

 

Sometimes, I’d find myself wondering what the next day will bring. God just will not cause himself to appear in font of us, and tell us what the next day will bring. He’ll just let us find out for ourselves. And, that’s okay! I don’t mind being surprised, for once.

Who knows…I might even come across a large sum of money tomorrow! We just never know what will happen! God just doesn’t descend down from heaven, to whisper in our ears and tell us what will happen. We’re to see, and find out what will happen.

I might find a new friend, a job offer, a new pair of shoes, a car, something tragic might happen, there might be an auto accident tomorrow, a loved one may die, a couple may break up, a marriage my end in divorce, a couple may become engaged, a teenager may get arrested and sent to juvenile hall, someone whose been in prison may get paroled,   a robbery may happen, someone may win sweepstakes from a Customer Satisfaction Survey, we just never ever know what will take place. And, again…God doesn’t tell us these things. The event just happen without our consent.

Events take place without our permission! Whatever happens each day…it happens, and we don’t get a say in what happens each day! Why? Because, God…is in control of what happens each day. This planet is far…far bigger than we are. But, God…looks down upon the earth, compared to God, we are like miniature figurines to him. God is bigger than the earth, and, he controls what happens o the earth. We may not always like what happens each day, but…we have no control over that.

We just have to learn to accept what can and can’t be changed, know the difference. I’m talking serenity, here!

 

Speaking of which, serenity has been really difficult for me. It had taken me years to give into the fact that I cannot fix what can’t be changed.   

 

 

Modcloth

31 Aug

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been with Modcloth for quite sometimes, now. One day, I was with a friend, when I’d met someone whom had purchased a pair of shoes from that website. The shoes were just so interesting…I just had to ask! The shoes were unlike any other pair of shoes that I’ve ever seen! I forget what they looked like.

Modcloth is owned by a woman named Susan. I’d been emailed that this woman has a large closet that she has gathered a lot of clothes over the years…clothes that she has had kept from the 70’s and 60’s. On the website, the apparel has titles to them, which I find to be so cute!

Just a few days go, I’ve designed a fabric print and have had it uploaded on FabricOnDemand.com. The print was titled ‘Skull Face’. It had been a painting that I’d done a few months earlier. The skull head had been traced from a Halloween decoration that I’d  purchased from a Dollar store. Also, I’ve designed a necklace from rubber spiders which also happen to be Halloween decorations. Now, this accessory would be considered one of ‘Glamour’s Fashion’s Do’s and Don’ts! A celebrity professional stylist would consider it a don’t!  A celebrity stylist probably would not agree with necklaces being designed from Halloween decorations. That would be totally something that I would not be able to comprehend.

Okay…about the fabric design, Skull Face is the first skull head design that I’ve ever done. It was quite an interesting project. I liked doing it.  Then, yesterday…I had gone over to Joann Fabrics, and was admiring a black mesh that had skull heads. I had thought long and hard about purchasing it, but I wasn’t sure if I’d wanted to or not. So, instead, I’d ended up getting a silk floral print. I’d gotten about approximately 2.25 worth. I was planning to design a blouse out of it, but I’m more likely to create a dress.

Making my own clothes always been something that I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve always wanted something different that someone else.

 

 

 

 

God And Mammon

28 Aug

 

 

 

 

 

Most of us tend to have our priorities out of line. But, that’s common. We all…have our priorities out of line. Most of us tend to forget what’s important, sometimes. We tend to put to put other things ahead of what’s really important.

 

Most of us tend to think that we can put other things ahead of God! Most of us worry about money. Money is one of the things that tend to effect relationships, marriages, and friendships! And, most of us tend to treat money as though it’s our God! That’s dangerous! We are not loyal to one, and we do not ate the other! We tend to think that we can serve God and money at the same time!

 

One of the Ten Commandments says that we are not to have any other god before the Lord. Yet, we  tend to place our faith in other things, like money, fame, cars, clothes, our jobs, and all other things. It had taken me a  long to get to where I am right now. I’d thought that I was trusting God…but, I really wasn’t. I was bombarded by coveting things.

I was totally out of control,…so, I’d had applied for those payday loans! But, now…I’ve learned to master my money. Money doesn’t master me , anymore. I don’t let it. And, I don’t shop nearly as much as I’ve done before!

I’ve just purchased another prepaid debit card from PLS Cashers, and when I earn money from collecting aluminum cans, I load the money onto the card for free! The money’s not much, but it adds up when I load the money.

In admit, at first…when I’d started collecting  aluminum cans, I’d thought that it wasn’t worth the effort…that I was only making a little bit…my family discourages me to do it, but, I do anyway. They don’t approve of me collecting  cans due to the fact that it only pays very a small amount of money…but, then the Lord had given me a different point of view about. That small amount can become a large amount.

Yeah…it pays a small amount, but it adds up, quickly!   

Even though…we are not supposed to serve God along with money, God wants us to serve him, and only “HIM”.

God…is our one and only God, we are simply not to be loyal to another! He will not share us with anything else! We are his…ALONE! He is our creator! he created us!

So, why…worship another god? Why?!

Has any other god placed us on this earth, and had given us life? Has any other god blessed us to wake up to see each day? Why the idols?!  Why place something else in front of God? After all he’s done for all of us? Why be loyal to another god…when our one and only “true God” had sacrificed his one only begotten Son, and had sent him into this world…in order to rescue us from a Devil’s hell?

Why turn our back on him…like that? Why slap him in the face…,when all he’s been trying to do is unite us with him in his Kingdom? Most of us has spat in God’s face, literally! And, the majority of us, don’t even believe that God exists!

It’s sad…that we all tend to discard God, when all he’s tried to do was unite  us with him. We’re all worldly, and carnal-minded, and full our own ambition. We want to follow our own way, and go our own way…and rely on other things, rather than God.

We tend to forget that God is the one who has blessed us to have the things that we have. It never dawns on us that he can just as well take it away from us. The moment we place our trust in worldly things…he then takes it away from us! If we place our faith in money…if we make money our god, then he then takes it away from us. The minute we treat something as though it’s our god, then the Lord takes disciplinary action!  When the Israelites had started trusting false gods, the Lord had taken disciplinary action toward them, and had allowed them to end up in a bad situation.

I had trusted money…so, the Lord had allowed me to end up in a bad situation…and that was when the scare tactics from the payday loans came along!

  God does not like it when we place our trust in something other than him! He does not like it when we rely on something more than him. Money…happens to be one of the worst things to place faith in, of all things! Money…is not a very good god! To trust it…is bad! To allow money to master us…is just simply….bad!

A double-minded man is unstable in every manner! To try and be loyal to one, and not despise the other…there’s just absolutely no way that you can do that! You just have to take your pick, and decide which one you want to be loyal to. God will not share us with another god! He just won’t!

God wants us to place our trust in him! He wants us to trust him…because, he is unlimited! God is unlimited! There are no limits to what he can do! He is everything! He is unstoppable! There’s nothing that God can’t do!  There’s nothing…that God can’t fix! There’s nothing that’s too hard for him! There’s nothing that’s too small for him! There’s nothing that’s too large for him! There’s nothing…that gets in him way!

God is all powerful…nothing can limit him, nothing! God didn’t  set the ten commandments to be  piest. He wanted us to follow the commandments so that we could have something to go by.

God was envious when the Egyptians had worshipped the sun. The Egyptians considered the sun to be their god.  And, that made the Lord jealous!

 

 

Doing Without

14 Aug

PCS 

 

 

 

Just this past Sunday…I’d been out, gathering aluminum cans, and I was just thinking…about the money that I had been earning. I’ve accumulated a great deal of pennies, and I had saved about $80 worth of pennies! I was really proud of myself!

 But then, all of a sudden, my smartphone had turned up missing! So, therefore…I have no way to contact y mother in order to let her know that I’m alright, so now she’s thinks I’m missing!

I had logged on to the MetroPCS  website, and had ordered another smartphone online, and hopefully, the phone had been shipped within the past few days back! I’d ordered the phone on the very day that I’d lost the other one. I’d used some of the money that I was supposed to have saved for my event to my family reunion that’s coming up within two days.   Now, this was the money that I’ve promised my mother had I wouldn’t spend until the event.

I’ve managed to have taken my PLS prepaid debit card, and had loaded $100 onto it. Then, I had used that card, and had ordered the new smartphone from the Metro PCS website.

It’d not been very long ago since I’ve bought he previous phone. I’d just then changed cell  phone providers at that time. I was with Cricket for a brief time. Then, I’ve decided to switch over to Metro PCS.

At first, new provider was called Aio Wireless, was a prepaid service. I’d gotten a used phone from them for only $14 dollars. Then, suddenly…I had dropped it, and  the screen had broke, and it’d caused the monitor to not show the screen very well. So, I was then obliged to switch companies, and buy a brand new one.

And, now…I’ll be damned if it’s now gone! It must not have been secure very well. So, therefore…,that means that I will need to do something different. I’m going to have to switch to a different handbag, and find a bag that will secure my phone.

What To Expect

6 Aug

 

 

 

 

I never know what to expect out of life these days. I never know what tomorrow will bring. Sometimes, I find myself wondering when I’ll die. I  realize that tomorrow is not promised to us. I think of death pretty often. I guess I ought to think of death…because, we just never know when the Lord may call us home.

It’s not that I’m in any hurry to die! I just wonder. Although, I’m really not ready to die just yet. But, we just very well may die…weather we’re ready or not!  My day of death is not known. I guess I’m not meant to know the day of my death. Only God knows that, and only He is to know the day of our last breathe.

I’m very well content with how my life is! God has been gracious and merciful to me to let  me wake up to see another day come to pass. I could die any time, day hour, year….we just don’t know what to expect out of life.

But, I have a life to live…and, I’m sure that God has a lot in store for me. So, I won’t worry about death right now. God will call me home when he’s ready for me.

 

Church… just seems to get better each time I attend, yet my thoughts wander about while the sermon’s being delivered. I’d have lots of things on my mind from time to time. A lot of them don’t even have anything to do with church.

Sometimes, I tend to feel sad…and, depressed. But, I try to remember…that there is a God above, and that nothing is too hard or too small for him.

God can solve any type of problem, no matter what it is! So, therefore, there really isn’t any reason for me to be sad. I don’t know why I keep having these thought come into my head. They keep coming into my head like…non-stop! They just seem to stay in my head, and they never go away!

But, that’s Satan’s way of getting me off course. The devil uses the schizophrenia to throw me off kilter, and…he just trips me up, sometimes.

Another thing, I mostly get a lot of encouragement from others. I don’t get enough encouragement from my family. They disapprove of me collecting aluminum cans. They feel that it doesn’t pay enough. They feel that it’s not worth the effort.

But, ‘me’ personally…I think that it is worth, I’ve chosen to look at it from a different perspective. Yeah, it pays very little, but…that little bit of change can become a lot! I’ve just started to save a little bit as I earn it. I used to didn’t do that! I used to spend it as soon a I got it! But, I’ve come to change my habits. As I make that little change, I put it back, and I save it. That used to seem very difficult for me. I used to not be disciplined enough.

I was self-indulgent. I had absolutely no will-power, whatsoever! I had no self-control, at all, and it was hurting me, I realize that, now. I’d not understood what I was doing to myself, at the time. But, the Lord had brought it to my attention. And, now I see what I had done wrong.

When not putting your faith in the Lord, you mess up, I was like the man whom had built his house on the sand, I’d not built my foundation on the rock. I’d placed my faith I money, instead of the Lord, and the scripture had clearly said that we’re not to serve God and money! God doesn’t like it when we place something else ahead of him. That is idolatry.

When we do the wrong thing, we may as well expect consequences! When playing with fire….we may as well expect to get burned! That’s  how life is, when we do the wrong thing, the outcome will not be pretty! Mot of us don’t stop, and think about that. We should, but we don’t. Common sense lacks from time to time. 

But, hey…like Romans 3:23 says, ‘we all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God’, we all are sinners, we are not perfect! We all were born with a sinful nature. We can’t help it if we’re sinners…we were put on this earth with sin within us! Not one of us is any better than the next person. We’re all sinners! There’s not one person on this planet who is not a sinner! Again, the scripture says, we all have sinned, and fall short, none of us are perfect!

We cannot say that we are much better off than the next person, because we are not! We all deserve hell fire! That’s why Jesus Christ was born into this world….to save us all form our sins! And, for those who except Jesus into their heart, they will be saved. But, if those reject Jesus, will suffer eternally!

When Jesus came in my life, It was just a simple encounter. I was in my mother’s car, she and I were coming from church. We were attend church at First Baptist Church of Sachse  at the time.  We were headed southward on Highway 78. I had my Bible open, and I could then feel Jesus’ presence within me. I had just then met Jesus Christ, for the very first time! It was magical! It was miraculous!

It was a great feeling! I enjoyed it, a lot! I loved it. It was what I had so desperately needed! For years…I’ve disregarded him, and then I’d just met him. He was a very kind man. I was a gentleman, he ‘d not forced himself on me! I’d asked him to come in to my life, and he had came into it.  Just like that!  I could feel him there. I was then able to memorize the scriptures. I don’t memorize the whole Bible, but, I know few passages. Then, I was able to gain understanding of the parables. I was then able to comprehend the Gospel. I don’t read my Bible regularly, but I don’t think that makes me any less of a believer.

You can know the Bible from front to back, and yet not have Jesus in your heart. I didn’t learn the scripture by head-knowledge, but by heart-knowledge. I didn’t attend Vacation Bible school to learn the scripture. It had just came to me, into my heart.

The Lord had revealed the knowledge to me. The Lord had placed it in my heart. Not in my head. I’ve tried to learn it  with my mind, but…, my brain wasn’t comprehending it. So, since my mind wasn’t receiving it, he’d placed it in my heart, and my heart was receptive. My mind was closed, but my heart was opened. 

My mind doesn’t seem to receive information, but my heart does! Like, my brain doesn’t seem to be receptive of numbers. My brain just doesn’t seem to want to take numbers. It just seems to except simple information. And, if it doesn’t identify the info, it doesn’t let it in.

A person can have an open mind, yet a closed heart. A person’s mind can be in one place, yet the heart somewhere else.

I pretty much consider myself, a tender-hearted person. I’ve never been light-hearted when it came to jokes. To me….jokes seems more like snide remarks, or sarcasm. I just never know when someone’s telling a joke. I’m just not able to tell if that person is trying to be funny, or not.

Well…anyway, jokes are rare with me. Some jokes sound funny, and some jokes don’t. It just depends on the motive behind the joke. Most people claim to tell jokes, and then they act as though they are telling jokes.

Moving on…, life is funny, sometimes. Life can almost seem like a joke, as well. When I was a child, I was at my old church, Keiser Street Baptist Church…getting ready to say my Easter speech. I can recall, I was so nervous, it was so unnerving  for me…so, therefore, I’d vomited in the choir stand right in front of the other children. I was so…so…so nervous, it just was abnormal  for a child to be under that much stress! I mean, something had to give! Either I was to vomit…or suffer an ulcer, one or the other!

I was much too young to have been that nervous. It’d be understandable for an adult, but an 8-year-old? That just was not good! So, after I’d vomited, I was off the hook. My mother had  taken me home, and had put me to bed during the service. I didn’t feel bad…because, after all, I couldn’t help how I had felt. I was just a little girl. So, I had nothing to feel guilty about.

Then, as I’d started getting older, my life began changing. Things were changing. And, people were beginning to treat me differently. Again, life…is funny. Ya  just never know what to expect!

You just never know what the Lord may have in store for us. He’s full of surprises! It’s almost like opening a gift, and you just can’t wait to see what that gift is! There’s no telling what you might receive…you’d just have to open the gift, and find out what it is! So, what does God have in store for us? Well…that’s for him to know, and for us to find out!

 

 

 

 

Talents

2 Aug

 

 

I had been on Crystal Lewis’ website…she had just had an new album come out…and I’ve just ordered it in her Metro One store on her website. Her daughter, Izzi Ray has an new album out as well. I’ve ordered the two CD’s together…I just can’t wait to listen to them. I just wonder what they have to say in their songs!

On Izzi Ray’s blog, she was discussing about using talents. It had grabbed my attention a  great deal. There was a lot of truth in what she was saying. She had said some things that made a lot of sense to me.

So, therefore…I want to say a few things about our talents. I don’t want to waste  what God has given me. And, I’m sure that God doesn’t want   us to waste it, either. But, I admit…I’ve pretty much not used what God had given me in a while.

I’ve been preoccupied with making extra money…til, I’ve just totally weaned myself of the things that I used to do. I used to  struggle with coveting after  what other people had, and, I used to look to others…and had seen what they had, and , I’d wanted what they had.

So, I would go out, and spend money…and had bought more of what I already had. I wasn’t content with what I had. I had wanted more.

On  ‘Fearless’, Crystal Lewis’ album…she sang a song titled ‘Satisfied’. In the inscription of her album, she had written a scripture that was in (Philippians 4:11-Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatever state  I am, therewith to be content.) I used to not be content.

  That scripture used to seem hard to grasp. It had seemed out of reach, in a way. But, now…I understand it, and I now feel that I can abide in it.  

 

I used to lack a great deal of will-power when it came to money. Money used to master me. Money had in a way held me captive. I was into making clothes…, and appearing different.

Also, there was a time in my life when I used to resent being different.  I had hated not being like everybody else that I’d known and had attended school with. Most of all, I used to feel inferior toward those whom were noticed, and were considered popular. I’d felt inferior because, I didn’t have what others had.

I never  got straight “A’s” in school, I’d never made the honor  roll…,nor was I a math whiz. I wasn’t much of an athlete…, but, yet I’ve managed to have won 4th place in track and field. I’ll admit, I would have rather gotten 1st place…but, things weren’t so promising.

My life has not been paradise….but, I can only do what I can with it.

 

The Love of Money Is The Root of All Evil

16 Jul

 004  It is truly dangerous…to love money! What’s even worse is that you allow it to master you! Money should never be considered a master! There is only one master…and that’s the Lord God Almighty! Also, most of us try to serve God and money at the same time, and that’s simply impossible. We all know that we just cannot do that! You can only serve one or the other! We must love one, and hate the other….be loyal to one and despise the other! 

Why do we all crave money so much? Good question! Why ‘do’ we crave money so much? Simple, we want what money can buy…rather than what money cannot buy. Money is something we have to earn…but, love is something that we cannot earn. Why do we strive for something that have to earn…more than what we cannot earn? Are we really that ungrateful?

Can money buy us love? We don’t have to earn it! Love is not something to be earned! Love is a gift!  Love is free. You don’t have to pay for it! God gives us his love everyday! We don’t have to try to earn his love.

However, money is not something we should love. We need money for our livelihood, but, not to indulge ourselves. Yet, money has been misused in a lot of ways! And, love has been misunderstood, as well!

Let me tell a story: For a long time…I’ve not been very good at handling money. I would spend it as though I had a lot of it. I had coveted after material things. I wanted what other people had. I had felt insecure about myself…so, therefore it had led me to financial insecurity. I had not been sufficient within myself, my self-esteem was low, I had poor math skills, I had squandered my money due to the fact that I was insecure within.  That was why I had applied for those payday loans. I had spent all the money from my federal check, I was broke for the rest of the month. I wanted money to spend.  So, I had applied for a loan with Check’n Go online. It was in April of 2012 when I’d applied for the loan.

Then, I’d gotten a scary phone call…which had turned out to have been a scare tactic which had scared me the deepest. The scare tactic had led me to believe that I would be arrested if I didn’t pay the loan. There was a lady posing as a police officer on the phone, the woman’s name was Michelle Johnson. 

The phone call made me squirm a little. I’d actually thought I would end up going to jail, for sure. But, it had turned out to be a prank call….a scare tactic. So, the phone call was a fake. But, it did teach me a lesson…a really powerful lesson.

It had taken something like that to get me to do better with  my money. That scare tactic whooped me, spiritually! Now that I look back on it, it was what I needed to get to learn some financial humility!

So…now, I collect aluminum cans for extra money, and I now save my money each time I make it! I used to spend it as I get it…now, In save it and load it onto my prepaid debit card. And, I’m proud of myself each time I make the money. My old habits have been broken. I now no longer have the desire to apply for those loans! I now go  to PLS Cashers to reload my prepaid debit card with money. I have another prepaid card. I’d have to use Western Union to pay a service fee to reload it. But, PLS”s own prepaid cards….I can  reload however much money I wish to reload with a service fee. Western Union’s service fee is $4.50.

So, I don’t reload the other prepaid card anymore…I reload the free one!