15 Dec

It seems as though when things get hard, and complicated, I sometimes

feel like I just want to throw in the towl, but I just know in my heart

that I just can’t afford to do that. Suicide is not an option. I dread

thinking suicidal thoughts, they make me sad. I hate wallowing in

self-pity. Life is far too priceless, it’d be a shame to end it so abruptly.

I know that God has a lot in store for me, and I don’t want to miss

out on those blessings. Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve been cursed. Could it

just be that life is so unfair? A lot of the times, I don’t always feel

fortunate. What could it be? Could it be that my life as a

schizophrenic doesn’t agree with those with the likes of me? If so,

why? Just what could I’ve possibly done in order to deserve this type

of life? I know I’m no perfectionist. I don’t rely on my own

understanding. I don’t wish to obtain fame and glory. I don’t wish to

be popular. I know that I don’t have to be a celebrity in order to get

God’s approval. I already have his approval, after all, he had sent his

on begotten son into the world in order to die for our sake. I am God’s

own creation, I’m sufficient in knowing that I’m fearfully and 

wonderfully made, and that I’m beautiful in his sight. We just simply

cannot depend on the approval of man, because man can automatically

change his mind about us in a splity second! But, God will never

change his mind about us. Why? Because, we’re his own.

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