Father’s Day

16 Jun

 

 

My father’s been dead for 5 years. He had passed away on June 3, 2010.

These past four years have not been the same without him. I miss him very much. My mother’s now the only living parent I have left. I never thought I’d have just one parent. Father’s Day had seemed rather empty…now that my father’s gone. Everybody else still have their fathers, except me

My father wasn’t a perfect dad. He made a lot of mistakes, he made  lot of bad choices. He was an alcoholic when he was alive. Our relationship wasn’t all that great. My father and I really weren’t too close. It was pretty much the alcoholism that had driven a wedge between us, mainly. I couldn’t help it, I just wasn’t able to get too close to my father like I should have. That may not be an excuse,  but, I can’t help it!

I admit, my relationship with my father wasn’t very healthy. It wasn’t that I didn’t respect him, in general…I just didn’t like how the alcoholism was effecting him. He’d be sober during the week, and then he’d get drunk on the weekends.

He was employed with the City of Garland for 27 years. He’s retired back 1995. Then, after that…he’d taken advantage of his retirement…and had done all the drinking he wanted, then, eventually the alcohol had started to take root…, and then it had killed him.

He had craved the alcohol greatly…then, he died.  It was just a matter of time before the alcoholism took root. But, I still miss him…nonetheless. It’s still not the same without him. Life has been different  without him.

Even though…I was pretty much the apple of my dad’s eye. But, now…he’s gone! The alcoholism had taken him away from me. I can no longer see him, hug him. talk to him, or even greet him with a father’s day card!

It’s different. No loud music on the weekends anymore…( not that that’s a bad thing), no more drunkenness…( a good thing), but he’s in a much better place, now. He no longer has to suffer the alcohol anymore…no more hangovers, no more DUI’s, no more drunk driving, …he doesn’t have to get drunk anymore…he’s now been delivered from that!

He’s now walking the streets of gold…enjoying the atmosphere of Heaven. The fact that he’s in heaven…makes me feel at ease.

He was supposed to have suffered eternal damnation…just as all the rest of us are, but, he had repented, shortly before he died…, an That’s why I feel at ease…

I didn’t get  very many spankings from him. I guess I hadn’t given  enough reasons to. He was pretty laid back. He wasn’t strict. He wasn’t much of an authoritarian. I never had to be home at a certain time…I was never given a curfew. I was never grounded….I was never away from home, much.

I really wasn’t a typical teenager back then. I was always to myself, most of the time. There wasn’t really wasn’t much out there for me to get into…so, I stayed home. I had never gotten in trouble with the law. And, I had never cause my father any grief. I admit, I’ve been disobedient several times, but still I was a good kid.

I was able to talk to my dad. We had bickered a little. He didn’t like to be in arguments…

But, he was okay. I guess I ought to resent him for drinking so much, but somehow…I don’t. The alcoholism should have  caused me to harbor bad feelings towards him, but it didn’t. I loved him, nonetheless. He might have been a screw-up…in a way, but, he was my father, regardless of the alcoholism. It didn’t matter how many mistakes he had made…or how many bad choices he had made, he was my father. He may not had been much of a role model…but, he was only human. Just like we’re all human, we’re prone to screw up once in a while…but, that doesn’t really make us bad people.

There is goodness in all of  us. We just do a lot of bad things. We all do bad things! And, I don’t believe that there’s a single person around that has not screwed up! We all screw up everyday! Not one person is any better than the next person. We’re all bound to slip, and fall down. That’s life!

Bad things happen to good people. And, good people do bad things. My father was a good man, but, he had done a lot of bad things. He wasn’t ‘Mr. Perfect’, and, nobody is! There’s not a single  person  around that’s perfect. I feel it’s utterly impossible to be perfect. It’d have to take a lot of hard work to try to be perfect. It’d be a total waste of time to even try! You simply cannot be perfect. It’s not possible! You’d be living in a dream world if you thought otherwise!

I  know I’m not perfect, and I’m not going to try to waste my energy to be perfect! We’re about quadrillion miles away from perfection. Jesus  Christ literally puts us to shame, because, he is perfect! He’s never made a single mistake!  He’s the true perfectionist! We do not measure up! (Romans 3:23).

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Jul

Life can be full of surprises sometimes. I should know…I’ve had ups and downs…looking for work, jobs seem rather scarce today. It juest seems as though…there’s no jobs out there, but I know that they are out there. They’re just hidden.

But, I understand  that God hasn’t brought forth a job for me just yet. I don’t know what he has in store for me, but, I’m sure it’s a good one. I’m not going to worry about anything. I’m just going to live my life one day at a time…and keep praying.

However…there have been times when I would want to just give up. But, just when I get ready to throw in the towl, God comes through. He just never seems to disappoint us. He works in unknown ways…I don’t know how he does it, but he just seems to just know what to provide for me.

Just the other day, I was out gathering aluminum cans…then a certain bus driver just seem to have an issue about my bringing the bag of cans on the bus. But, then I’d called Dart, and had clarified some things about the issue. It’d so turns out that Dart really doesn’t have an issue with the matter. ALthough…they do have a policy about having open containers on the bus. They’d  said as long as the cans are emptey, and don’t carry an odor. well, I’ll just keep the bag closed with my hand so that the ordor doesn’t spread.

Today…I’ve delivered some cans to the recyclers, and had only made $1.20. I have about three dollars in total. I’ve saved two other dollars.

I happen to have a habit in spending money. I’ve mainly spent money on unnecessary things. Those unnecessary thing are the things that I’ve coveted.

 

Aside

Hello! I’m Kry…

20 May

Hello! I’m Krystalon Smith. I’d just wanted to say…that I pretty much dig the merchandise! Just the other day, I’ve ran into someone whom had purchased some of your stuff! I was rather impressed with what I saw! Also, I was on the website a few days ago, and I’d came across a unique pairs of higheel shoses! I’ve coveted those shoses so badly, they were so cool! My girlfriend, Sandy Allen happens to be into jewelry design. We go to Micheal’s, Hobby Lobby, Joann Fabrics, etc.  She’s knowledgable about several things. And, about myself, I design my own clothing! I also like to give my dresses names, which I think is so cute!  Your dresses have personality and character, and I like clothes with character! I like clothes that speak.

Aside

Hello! I’m Kry…

20 May

Hello! I’m Krystalon Smith. I’d just wanted to say…that I pretty much dig the merchandise! Just the other day, I’ve ran into someone whom had purchased some of your stuff! I was rather impressed with what I saw! Also, I was on the website a few days ago, and I’d came across a unique pairs of higheel shoses! I’ve coveted those shoses so badly, they were so cool! My girlfriend, Sandy Allen happens to be into jewelry design. We go to Micheal’s, Hobby Lobby, Joann Fabrics, etc.  She’s knowledgable about several things. And, about myself, I design my own clothing! I also like to give my dresses names, which I think is so cute!  Your dresses have personality and character, and I like clothes with character! I like clothes that speak.

6 Apr

Life can be full of surprises sometimes. Just as the famous line says: ‘Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.’ That’s really true. You just never know what you’ll come up with in the near future.

Another thing, the LORD  can surprise you, too. It ‘s almost like he’s giving us a box of which he only knows what it is that’s inside of the box. And, it’d be up to us find out what’s in that box. Like, that’s for GOD to know and for us to find out what’s in the box. It’d be a box of the gift that he’d given us. 

Blessings are like spiritual money(Hebrews 11:1) we just have trust GOD, and believe that he’ll meet our needs. Because, if we don’t trust him, then we’re sinning against him.

Just this past November, I’d not paid my tithes. the reason why I’d not paid my tithes was because I’d fear that I wouldn’t have enough of  to live off of. So, GOD had arranged to where I’d lost my cellular phone. I wasn’t able to get my needs met. He’s even made to where I had gone over my limit of purchsasing my groceries,  he’s d fixed it to where I was able to a new service on my other cellular phone. It was almost like I was spiritually getting picked on. The LORD had put a curese on me. He’d made it to where my circumstances would work against me. My needs were not getting met.

And, so now, I’ve come to terms that I just trust GOD, period. I don’t worry about any thing anymore.  I’ve gotten sick and tired of worrying about things.  I was being carnal in my thinking. So, going through that chaos had really taught me a very strong lesson. It’d taught me to trust GOD, regardless. It’d taught me to have faith. I’d not had much faith in GOD for a while. So, therefore, the LORD had to play hard ball with me. So, therefore, he’d arranged it to where in lose my cell phone. I was robbing GOD of his portion, so he’d allowed me to lose my cell because I didn’t have faith in him. I’ve learnded to doubt GOD is a sin! Just like when Moses didn’t trust GOD ,so he wasn’t able to going into the Promised Land, because he’d not trusted GOD.  The same it is with us! When we don’t put our faith in the LORD, and give him his 10%, then, we’re stealing from him. The LORD will claim his tithe by allowing bad things to happen to us, just as he had back in this past November and December.

I take it that it’d taken that to get me to trust him. He’d let me go without, in order to get me to trust him. And, to not put my faith in material things, and being carnal-minded. I now place  my faith in what is unseen, rather then what is seen.  The scriptures says: don’t put faith in what is seen, to put faith in what is not seen.  But, to accumulate things in heaven.  In other words, we’re to accumulate spiritual things, not worldly things. Because it can get ruined, stolen, moth-eaten, but the spiritual things, cannot get ruined, stolen, or moth-eatened. We’re to get rich, spiritually.

Most people want to put their faith in worldly things, like nice houses, fancy cars, and designer clothes. Worldly things have price tags on them. But, spiritual things don’t.

Just the other day, I was over on Beltline waiting for the DART bus to come. And, this lady had offered to give me a ride up to where I was headed. And, she had said something that I will never forget. She’d said that her reward was with the LORD. She didn’t expect me to give her money, or even a praise. She’d just trusted GOD. She didn’t act as if she were obligated to give me a ride. She had given me a ride willingly.  She didn’t act as though it were her duty, she didn’t expect to get something out of it. She wasn’t seeking to get a pat on the back. She was only doing what the LORD laid on her heart to do. She wasn’t  trying to seek approval.

Seeking approval is one of the most miserable tasks ever. Don’t try to seek anybody’s approval, and worry about stereotypes.

When GOD had first created Adam and Eve, did he stereotype them?

God’s not into stereotypes, why should we?!

Faith

10 Jan

Hebrews 11:1 -Faith is the substance of the things we hope for, and the evidence of things unseen. I can’t see faith. All I know is that I can’t help but to have faith. I can’t see the wind, but I can feel it when it blows. I never know where it comes or goes. I never know if it’s here or there.  I don’t know what faith looks like. I don’t even know what it’s made of. Could it be made by a supernatural power? Could faith be like something beautiful? Could faith be like a flower that grows in a garden?

Why is it so important thing we have faith? Why must we be so trusting? To have faith is to have trust. We are required to trust. Why? Because, faith is the only spiritual sourse we have. Without faith, we wouldn’t make in life. Without faith, we couldn’t make it in life. We shouldn’t have any doubts about what God can do. There’s no limits to God’s power. So, therefore, we have no reason to doubt him. It’s not in God’s nature to deceive. God is truth. He is nothing but truth. God is about truth.

To have faith is to have a friend that you can depend on. Faith cannot disappoint. Faith cannot fail. Just as love cannot fail. Faith is like a companion that will not let you down. Faith is hopeful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Object of Money

7 Jan

Ya know what the scripture says about money, the love of it is the root of all sorts of evil. I truly believe that God has opened my eyes to this truth. In the past, I’d read the passage, but it had looked as though I were looking at words on the page . Those words do have a meaning to them. That passage reads that for a reason. It’s not there just to be there. It’s there because God wants us to understand that we just cannot have what we want all the time. Greed is not a good thing!  When you place your faith in money, then it causes all sorts of problems.

When we rely on money, it gets us into trouble. It even effects relationships. We can be a necessity for, and it can also be wicked in lots of other ways. It’s just up to us  to know we should and should not do with money. After all, God did bless us will free will, we have to make up our minds in what we should and shouldn’t do with money.

I feel that it’s all in a matter of knowing the difference between our needs and wants. When confusing our needs with our wants, then it makes us look like poor money managers. When spending more money on the  withthings that you could do without, convincing yourself that you need them, then it makes you look like a poor money manager. It’s easy to know the difference between needs and wants. 

Also, when allowing ours desires to dominate you, then your desires have full dominion over you.  for instance, when you walk into a clothing store, and let’s  say…you have about  $10’000 dollars in your purse, and you come across a rack full of merchandise that just grabs your eye, you walk up to the rack of merchandise, you scan through them, your eyes booming with enthusiasum. Knowing that you have the $1o’000 dollars in your pocket, you’d immediately pick out about six dresses, you try on all six of them, they satisfy you, and then you just buy them impulsively without giving it another thought. At one point, you’re happy, and then afterwards you’d feel guilt because you’d spent more money than you’d needed to spend! You’d allow the $10’000 dollars have dominion over you because you’d seen something that you have liked and had coveted after. You had felt that since you saw what you wanted, you’d better get it right then while you had the chance to get  it, or else someone else would come along and buy it, and then you’d miss your chance on buying what you had wanted when you had the money and the opportunity to buy it, while at the same time…you knew that could have done without it! That, alone can also make you look like a poor money manager.

Just because we see what we want, it doesn’t necessarily mean you need it! It’s okay to have what you want, but if  you can do without it, then it’s not a necsessity. If you already have all you want, then why buy more? It’s much better to be content with what you have.  Then, when it becomes ragged and worn out, then you can buy more, because, when buying more than what’s needed is squandering.  To squander money is to waste money. To waste money is buying items that you know you can do without . And, if someone else comes along and buys it, then that person must not have had it when they needed it before. That person might would need that item more than you would need it, so let they get it! Then, again, that person may not even have anymore need for the item than you, but you don’t know that.

But, don’t let worldly things dominate you, whenever the Lord sees fit for you to have more then he will provide a way for you to have more. Let the Lord  take charge of you circumstances . Don’t try to figure everything out on your own. Don’t rely on your knowledge, education, college degree, job, paycheck, income, income tax refund, ego, worldly rewards, etc.

If we sow nothing, we reap nothing. If we sow a blessing, we reap a blessing. And…if we sow a curse, we reap a curse!  Also, if we sow poverty, we reap poverty!